Pennsylvania Power & Light…We Are Not Bad People!
To all of you who are upset that we allowed the Madison River to reach the lowest flow level since the Big Quake of 1959…SHAME ON YOU! All of us at PP&L, 2167 miles away in Allentown, Pa. are shocked at you Montana hicks. We know what we are doing…think about the children…your kids…your loved ones…they don’t need their fishin’ poles…they can just walk right out across the rocks in the middle of the Madison River and scoop ‘em up with dip nets…fish fry for the whole damn family! An look at the loot…no water means treasure…all the Nikons and Rolexes and Orvises and Sages and ya know all that other stuff that’s been layin down there for years…now y’all can go get it! First come, first serve…just walk on out there and scrape all the dead fish out of your way and divvy up the loot! We’re helping the Montana economy…putting money in your pocket…food on the table (y’all might check those dead trout for fungus, blisters and open sores before y’all cook ‘em up…know what I mean?) Just because we’re closer to New York City, Philadelphia and Newark don’t mean we don’t love Montana. Heck we take a Corporate Outing to Yellowstone Park every year. We even have photos of our PP&L Vice Presidents feeding a Philly Cheese Steak to a grizzly bear…we care about the West! And one of our PP&L Executives stood right up next to one of them thar wild buffalos and got his picture took just before the old bull rammed a horn up his wazoo. Yippee! We love it out there in Big Sky country.
So don’tchall fret about a little low water…heck after all those fish die off we’ll by y’all some fresh ones and dump ‘em back in there with our PP&L helicopters and corporate jets. And then will have a big party at the Long Branch and buy y’all a bunch of beer. Yahoo! Ain’t it great?
PS…If you ever get to Allentown…feel free to stop in…and bring the family!